Mark Reads Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Chapter 19

In the weblog of Mark Reads Harry Potter, SHIT GETS REAL AND YOU ARE NOT PREPARED! Intrigued? Then it's time for Marking to read Harry Potter.

After suffering through Twilight, Marker decided to commence on the project of reading Harry Potter (which they'd never read earlier) and review information technology on their weblog ane chapter at a time and even though at the beginning they were non quite sold at present it's REAL HARD because THIS Serial IS So Amazing AND ADDICTIVE AND J. K. ROWLING IS A FUCKING GENIUS! they WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS SHIT! CHECK Information technology OUT Right Now!

The result was an epic, five-month journey through all vii books of the Harry Potter series, finishing the series on October 30th, 2010. they are now re-reading the series.

Run into also Marking Reads Twilight. Mark is besides at present branching into other series, including Firefly, The Hunger Games and Doctor Who. Check them out!

---

Tropes include:

• Aborted Arc: Mark gave up reading My Immortal later a rape joke in Affiliate 20.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Before their review of Goblet of Fire Affiliate x, Mark says "There's too a great bargain of commentary on slavery, oppression, privilege, and why Percy is and then goddamn abrasive."
• Author Catchphrase:
  • "Shit gets real" and "you are/I am non prepared", the latter having been started past their followers during their Twilight web log.
  • Their friend Kasper coined the phrase, "Haters, please familiarize yourself with the left-hand evacuation procedure", which Mark at present uses regularly.
  • They eat potato babies considering they is a godless sodomite. Which is now a gif. By and large information technology'southward just the white potato babies that people quote.
  • They begin all their reviews with a curt summary of the chapter, followed by "Intrigued? And then it'due south time for Mark to read Harry Potter."
  • GIFs. Lots and lots of GIF dearest.
  • "Die in a fire." and variations, when referring to characters they doesn't like.
• Berserk Button:
  • The presence of Malfoy or Umbridge will near certainly piss them off. Specially Umbridge.

    Marker: You worthless, dominance-obeying, mindless piece of shit. I cannot remember a literary character EVER filling me with this much rage, contempt, and disgust AND GUYS I Take READ THE Unabridged FUCKING Twilight SERIES. I volition seriously accept the unabridged 4 books of Bella whining over E'er reading this fucking BULLSHIT, SHITTY PERSON'S WORDS Always AGAIN.

  • Two downplayed ones with regard to Rowling'southward writing: her habit of recapping the previous story in each book's first few chapters, and her habit of Harry finding things out by overhearing conversations.
• Bold Inflation: The opening to this page should give yous an idea how Mark uses ALL CAPS to MAKE A Point. Also italics, regular assuming text, and sometimes fifty-fifty ENLARGED TEXT. And random mashing of the keyboard for rage.

• Disproportionate Retribution:
  • Please stop posting any sort of spoilers or hints to the hereafter in the comments or I will Voldemort your entire family and and so create a basilisk to eat you lot live.
  • During Chapter 3 of Club of the Phoenix, Marker inserts themselves into the story to express their excitement at seeing the render of both Lupin and Moody. Anybody finds them annoying, and Moody eventually stuffs them into the Dursleys' oven and turns the estrus upward to maximum. they Gets Improve.
• Early Installment Weirdness: Mark'southward reviews of the first few chapters of the first book were snarky and condescending. And then they was won over past the affiliate where Hagrid shows upward at the Hut-on-the-Rock then all was right with the world. Those beginning few chapters were a holdover from the other series they had read and blogged nearly: Mark hated Twilight with a passion.
• Fanboy: They unabashedly admire the series, faults and all. Although they are quick to fustigate any faults they notice, only almost of the time something else that'due south crawly distracts them.
• Hypocritical Sense of humour: Chapter iv of Gild of the Phoenix has Mark semi-seriously telling Harry to, amongst other things, stop yelling at people, in all-caps.
• Horrible Gauge of Graphic symbol:
  • In one isolated incident, Mark gave this prediction well-nigh Umbridge in Chapter 11 of Club of the Phoenix.

    I don't experience she's evil anymore. Shoot me. I know we're supposed to remember she'southward this forboding character who will fuck everything upwards, but come on. She cannot be that bad just because she's "traditional" in some sense. I mean, she will probably be difficult, simply information technology'll exist an interesting way to bring up some sort of conflict between Harry and her. Or maybe Hermione. Merely yeah. I'm not buying this whole "You lot SHOULD TOTALLY HATE HER IMMEDIATELY" thing.

  • You tin can guess how they responded to the post-obit ii chapters.

    OH, JUST FUCK EVERYTHING. Practice you know how unbelievably embarrassed I am for that last review? Do you realize how foolish I experience at this very moment for what I wrote?

    We are not going to talk about Binns. We are not going to talk about Snape. We are not going to talk nigh Trelawney. We are not going to talk most how this chapter has suddenly turned into Harry Potter and the Bickering Bickerers.

    We are going to talk about Dolores FUCKING Umbridge.

    I'll merely showtime off this mode:

    FUCK. Yous.

• Killed Mid-Judgement: Poor Hedwig :'(
• Lighter and Softer: Mark Reads Twilight was Mark constantly ranting at the sheer stupidity of the characters, the plot destruction, the racism, etc., while this blog is Mark thoroughly enjoying reading a good series.
• Mad Libs Catchphrase: [Person] [verbs] all the [nouns]. (Hermione knows all the things, Umbridge should die in all the fires).
• Medium Awareness: A staple of their Harry Potter: A Play segments.

  HARRY: You wouldn't believe it. I just spied on a secret conversation between Snape.

  [Dramatic music.]

  HARRY: they is TOTALLY planning on stealing the Sorcerer'south Stone.

  [Music rises in pitch and tempo.]

  HARRY: I think Quirrell put some anti-Dark Arts spell on the room, too!]

  HARRY: I don't know. Information technology'due south been post-obit me all solar day.

  HERMIONE: Wait, and so...Quirrell is the simply thing protecting the Wizard's Stone?

  RON: Dudes. That'southward like trying to protect a vault with tissue paper.

  NEVILLE: What? I idea it fit.

• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: Sometimes shows up in their footnotes when quoting straight from the source fabric during their Harry Potter: A Play reviews.
• OOC Is Serious Business organisation: It'due south pretty clear how much Mark loves Hagrid: The beginning chapter 60 minutes's introduced, Marker already wants to ally him. Deport in mind that Mark generally has no involvement in matrimony, as their Twilight reviews made clear.
• Perverse Sexual Animalism: Mark has declared Hagrid their leather daddy beau.

• Script Fic: The Harry Potter: A Play segments, another holdover from their Twilight reviews.
• Something Completely Dissimilar: Mark has reviewed chapters from the indicate of view of characters, including Hedwig more than than in one case, transcribed IM conversations they had with their friend Kasper while reading the chapter for the first time, and more.
• Take That!: Quite a few confronting Twilight.
  • These typically have the form of Mark mocking Stephenie Meyer whenever they detect a skillful case of Show, Don't Tell, the lack of such in Twilight being an early complaint they had.
  • In the final affiliate of Deathly Hallows, Mark has Cedric go up to Harry and co and talk nigh how he's "spent the last 5 years trapped inside a book that glorifies abuse, shame, and mediocrity" following their death, a reference to the fact that him and Edward Cullen are portrayed by the same thespian.
• You Are Non Set: You ARE Non PREPARED .

---

pohlsithe1984.blogspot.com

Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Blog/MarkReadsHarryPotter